Tag Archive | life lessons

World View Revolution- Part 4 or “Willingly Enslaved”

I am writing this as frustrations rise up in my world. Working three days a week as a “single” mom I have found that my philosophy on working a job as a mom at all is another Lie that has us duped by the establishment systems.

We fight the grind of the 9-5 work days and traffic and gas prices and benefits and office politics and for WHAT? So we can pay the daycare to raise our kids for us? So we can have benefits for health problems from the stress,  the smog filled commutes,  the hours doing repetitive motions, heavy lifting or hunched over a computer screen or the lack of nutrition due to the drive through dinners and not having the time for preparing or researching healthy foods and living? So we can put all our money into the gas tank and into our “keeping up with the Joneses” lifestyles? Since when is this worth it? How has it gotten to this point?

What has happened is we have sold our souls and bought a philosophy; that moms should have the freedom to work and not be under the thumb of responsibilities at home, or that we can do anything a man can do, but what we have gotten instead is being under the thumb of the work responsibilities and those at home combined, it is hardwired into us that we care for our homes (even if we don’t like to, want to or know how to) and therefore we are divided. A house divided cannot stand, a woman divided cannot stand, a family divided cannot stand, a marriage divided cannot stand. This promotion of women (or should I say demotion), has created a culture of willing enslavement because we have bought into the propaganda of the system. This system has taken from us our roots and traditions and home skills; it is still taking from us, it is attempting to steal our farming heritage, our entrepreneurial spirit, our ability to remain independent.  You see when they take our animals and our ability to grow our own food and disallow us to keep a small businesses (read this). They aren’t and haven’t literally taken them Per Se on a large scale. What they are trying to do is over-regulate these things, using fear tactics in the media by hyping big stories with just the info they want you to believe, then if that doesn’t work and a few get away from them they use the law to make an example of them like they are criminals by using obscure regulations, lies, and laws  to come and shut down community based operations that don’t line up with their drone mentality of the American people.  There is also the money factor to consider, they tax us, and insist we be licensed which again costs money, they fine those who are out of line and terrorize those not in cahoots with them or their lobbyist cronies.

Why do we want a job? to have good benefits. Why have good benefits? So when we are sick and broken down at retirement we will be taken care of? Even though our quality of life is nearly non-existent due to our multitude of health issues. To have good pay? To pay for our kids to go to college and get caught up in the same vicious cycle? Or to fund our retirement that we may be too sick to enjoy? It is bad enough that our men have to go out and put these stresses upon themselves (which they are hardwired to do with much less of a detriment to their health). But when you take the wives out of the home, and take the nourishment and nurturing those wives can provide for those men, to keep them healthy for the stresses of working, you end up with men who are broken down too!

But being a stay at home mom is not easy; do you know why? Because all or most of the skills that mothers pass down have been lost to a huge majority of women; thanks to the feminist movement. It is boring to stay home; we don’t know how to fill our time, or how to care for the home. Our work schedules and mentality have taken from us the ability to set routines in place to efficiently accomplish what we want for our homes and families. The skills of meal planning and nourishing our family have been lost to a convenience lifestyle of prepackaged chemicals. The skills of sewing and yarn works have been lost to store bought, inferior quality clothing. The skills of raising up strong, driven children of character and purpose have been lost to inferior education, schools of propaganda and peer pressure. The skills of hospitality, communication and community have been lost to a social media, texting,  gaming and amusement driven populace. The skills of healing our families with God given herbs and remedies have been lost to the greed driven big pharma corporations with there lobbyists that feed the greed in the media to lie to us and in the universities to propagandize our nation’s youth.

I am not talking about politics here, I am talking about the thought processes of individuals that have driven the American culture collectively en mass to sell there birthright and dignity because of the deception in a worldview that is not grounded foundation-ally in Truth or even in logic, reason and common sense. This is about thinking; thinking about the things that we hear and see passively throughout the day whether others say it or the media says it or a concept on a mindless television program says it; it is about discernment and telling apart the truth from the lies. The things I am writing are not about proving anything they are about piquing the curiosity of those who are willing to think outside their comfort zone and grasp the truth behind it. I am not an exhaustive researcher of specifics, I am attempting to portray tidbits of truth in my own journey for Truth. I know very little and in fact what I do know is minute in comparison to what I should know.  Does anyone else ever wonder why things just don’t make sense? Am I the only one wondering why common belief systems are so backward? Don’t you wonder about these types of things, too? Leave me a comment telling me what kinds of things just don’t make sense to you in the culture, let me know what has you mystified and why.

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Simplicity- Intro

The lifestyle of simplicity is becoming a lost art, a refinement forgotten. There is an appeal to that life of slow days and basics, where the things you have don’t own you and you aren’t a slave to the clock and at the mercy of schedules. There is an appeal to having the freedom to marvel at the simple things, like the wonder in a child’s eyes, or the sunsets, or the pictures in the clouds. Yet in this culture of busyness around us, a little child’s curiosity becomes bratty, and any inconvenience becomes a crisis. The car-seat trapped child’s eyes become dull and listless as they are carted about too and fro, forgotten in the bustle and hustle of play dates and dance lessons and after school programs and sports and church programs and the list goes on. There is nothing wrong with any of these things to do, there is something wrong though, when these things start owning you, when the commitment becomes too much and the necessities of life fall to the wayside for these activities.

Stress rears it’s ugly head against us, we feel guilt because somehow we have come to believe that we have to do and do and do. We have to give our kids the opportunities and we have to be at the party and we have to go and hang out with so and so, our homes have to be perfect, we have to meet the deadline… and yes we do sometime. However there comes a time to just stop; a season to rest, and maybe, a call to pull away and be left out of it all or at least most of it, to refocus and re-purpose ourselves, our families, our homes and our lives so that we can just be and not just do. There is a saying “You are a human being not a human doing”. The easy life is the life of being busy, because we no longer have to think about what matters- we just find more to do, to fill in the dead spaces, while at night we are haunted by those things that should be addressed in our lives, our character, our children’s discipline, our marriages. We fear the stillness of just being, in which our inadequacies shout at us through the bullhorn of guilt.

In the search for simplicity we need to first recognize the onslaught of expectations we face, and the origin of them. We need to evaluate if those expectations have come to us through sources we can trust or through the subtle influences of media and culture or even through the well meaning influence of slightly misguided friends and family. Each of us has the ability to divide the truth from the lies. If something has you stressed out and feeling overwhelmed and out of control or attacked, degraded and worthless it is not of value* to you. Usually the progression seems to follow a pattern of what we want, typically, we want to be liked**, thus we feel we must measure ourselves according to the expectations people around us have projected upon us, either verbally or inadvertently by their attitudes towards us or others. Then we can have perceived ideas of expectations that we feel we must live up to based on how the media portrays to us an unrealistic lifestyle of wealth and good times. Finally, we have to sort out our own expectations we have of ourselves; while filtering the importance of them through whether we want to be liked, if it is a source of pride, or if it is a lie propagated upon us by the media.

James 1:17
*Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

1 John 2:16
**For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

What can we do? How do we swing the pendulum back to center and re-engage with life? What are some ways you balance your life? Do you feel overwhelmed? I. do. a. lot. This post is the first of my series on digging myself out of the clutter of stuff and life owning me into an existence that is filled with me owning my life and my stuff being tools and not taskmasters. Do you have any tips for me? Or are you in the same boat as I am? Join me in this journey so we can discover the joys of simplicity together.

Going Forward with Obstacles

“God has nothing worth having that is easily gained”-  Streams in the Desert Devotional– June 29

 

It is easy in the face of obstacles to give up and take the easy path, whether that is convenience food or procrastination or snapping back at someone in anger or abandoning a difficult relationship. The hard way is painful and misunderstood, even if it appears that the easy way is being taken. I am happy to be standing in the Hope of God and that he is my everything, literally. He took my earthly security away, and gave me an invisible future that I cannot see but for his promises to me. I think I am misunderstood for the fact that I had to do something very drastic in my life to secure the health and well being of those closest to me, it had to be done, to save a soul, to save minds from more damage, and to save the completeness of something God has ordained. Nothing good has ever come from hiding behind false pretenses, especially when multiple opportunities have been given for private resolution of the issues faced. God put these words before me as I was facing the blackest moments in this recent dilemma:

 

Psalm 27:13-14 (amp) [What, what would have become of me] had I not believed that I would see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living! Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord.

 

Psalm 138:3,7-8 (KJV) In the day when I cried thou answeredst me, and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul. Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me. The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands.

 

Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

 

It was like a cool fresh breeze, filling my suffocating lungs, a piercing light through the darkness, though still blind to the future it is the brightness of his promises that are blinding me now to what my future holds. I am so happy to know that I have no need to defend my position but that God is my defense. No person can stand against me in thought, action, or words. The greatest of all is he told me he would perfect what concerns me, PERFECT, can you beat that? I have made more mistakes in my journey than I can count, but, I know I make them and will likely make more; But I have claimed Christ and his righteousness for myself because without it I am destitute in the horrors of my sin. I can stand in Him knowing that my mistakes and failures will only prove to glorify Him much more in the end, so I can have no claims to having done anything in my own strength. This is the beautiful way of openness and transparency, it proves God’s greatness in the end, it proves that he uses weak, broken vessels to carry his glory so he can shine through the shattered shards of brokenness. A crushed flower, pours out more fragrance. Coal under pressure produces a diamond.

Journey through Pain

For the past year or so I have found myself in a prison with one wall that I have been banging my head on. My head has been aching from the constant smashing against bricks made from confusion, worry, questioning, lack of faith, thoughts of self pity and so on. Believe me the words that bombard me sometime shred my soul and the circumstances that surround me are difficult. But a sweet whisper from God has been quietly speaking to me lately about the “chastisement of my peace being upon Him” Isaiah 53 – it has come over and over into my heart and head and it is amazing how he has led me out of this bramble of pain.  I have been unable to figure out why I couldn’t find peace, but I am so happy that He is showing me a way out of the confused questions in my head. I am so glad that I didn’t completely give up and am also glad that so much of his word has taken root in me that even in times of drought in my life; [The Word] comes in like a refreshing rain for my thirsty soul.

Another question that has been causing me great pain has been in that I believed a lie that all I could experience in this life was hurting, and that all the blessings that I have read about in His Word were blessings for heaven, I was basically believing that salvation was not for my life but for my death or when I died. But I have been so blessed that He again spoke to me and showed me Psalm 27: 13 “Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.”

Just lately there has been some changes in my life that I wanted but was afraid of, and I actually prayed would happen and it did. But when it happened it was so abruptly that I was terrified. Through my terror I prayed for him to give me peace that I would have faith to trust him for my needs, all of them. Seemingly simplistic request I know; but the back story makes it very frightening.  The day after this abrupt change I received a magazine in the mail and nearly every article in it were testimonies of God’s provision in the exact circumstance that I found myself in and fearful of this past year. It affirmed He cares for me and knows my needs, and speaks to me when I feel like there is nobody else who understands.

Zombies

Okay so here is the situation, I feel like I am almost completely a zombie- I feel like I just don’t give a rip anymore- walking around dead. Not that this is true but my response to the continual dripping of acid on my heart and mind is well… acid back, It’s not good, it serves no purpose, it makes things even worse and I don’t know how to stop. You see I have these really good spells in which I am very, very good and very bad ones in which I am HORRID. So I am horrid right now. I have tried many forms of turning the other cheek, but I seem unable to stick it out for whatever reason… you see I get vulnerable, then I get hurt, then I get hard, then I give it another try and it starts all over again.  I just want to be happy and have fun, to enjoy life, yet this misery just won’t quit.

I know that I need to keep my focus in the right place, and I don’t all the time. I know that I need  to give up my rights, but there is too much I want sometimes. I know that I don’t deserve any better than my worst sin. But I don’t want to be eaten alive by this living dead. And I don’t want to be a Zombie.

Tell me how would you respond if your very soul was continuously slammed, the butt of every joke, ridiculed, mocked, derided, harrassed, shamed, dishonored, hurt repeatedly, over and over. I am sorry to say it starts to form a callous, and you begin to be very good at giving it back.

But you see the real problem lies in that the zombie is the one who can’t take the punishment, the zombie feels all the pain and then spews it back out to infect others, so when I dish it back, I am hurting something so much more fragile than me and I feel as though I am delaying the time when the zombie is given anew, his life.

People

In this life one of  the most frustrating and delightful and inevitable parts of life….

people.

I have many many people in my life who fall under many categories but I find that when I really look, the people in my life become another piece of artwork in the gallery of life. It is tragic and beautiful and it is delightful. I am so glad that I have began to really see them for them, not for their actions, it is hard because it takes alot of vulnerability and alot of getting hurt, and trusting has become a word I reserve for God alone. (sorry everyone else). I include many people in my list of friends, broken people, broken people who like to act like their fixed, broken people who really are fixed, broken people who don’t care that they are broken, or don’t know or refuse to admit it or ignore it. But it is remarkable the similarities (broken) that we all have regardless of our situation in life we all have this one thing in common; we are so desperately broken.

Reproach has broken my heart, And I am full of heaviness; I looked for someone to take pity, but there was none; And for comforters, but I found none. Psa. 69:20

It is so painful to have friends who suffer daily… It is far worse to have friends who do not have a source of strength in their hurt.

The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit. Psa. 37:18

this is for you my brassy frined who has been beat all her life.

this is for my friend who is paralyzed

this is for my friend who tries to find comfort in a bottle

this is for my friend whose husband looked for love elsewhere for ten years of their marriage

this is for my friend who lost her home to foreclosure and her father in the same year

this is for my friend who lost her mother, her home to fire, her ability to walk

this is for my friend who cannot control anger

this is for my friend who struggles with debilitating pain

and this is for me, too.

Because being broken brings us closer to the answer…

Out of this Corner

Like a cornered animal

in a smallish spot

poked at and prodded

torture so cruel

you are the tool

in the hands of this evil one

who wants me broken

desperation and psychosis

seem to overtake

but then I remember the place

my Ivory Tower

where I can run and be safe

the place where I can cling

even if

it feels

like

a slick and slimy rock

in the raging hurricane of my life

even if I can feel

the grit from this stone

pressing into the quick of my nails

and it hurts

yet I cling

I want the Ivory Tower

more than the rock

I want the wrought needlework

of the King’s Daughter

not these drenched rags

of this filthy place

this corner in

this world

that I am stuck in