Tag Archive | finding joy

World View Revolution- Part 4 or “Willingly Enslaved”

I am writing this as frustrations rise up in my world. Working three days a week as a “single” mom I have found that my philosophy on working a job as a mom at all is another Lie that has us duped by the establishment systems.

We fight the grind of the 9-5 work days and traffic and gas prices and benefits and office politics and for WHAT? So we can pay the daycare to raise our kids for us? So we can have benefits for health problems from the stress,  the smog filled commutes,  the hours doing repetitive motions, heavy lifting or hunched over a computer screen or the lack of nutrition due to the drive through dinners and not having the time for preparing or researching healthy foods and living? So we can put all our money into the gas tank and into our “keeping up with the Joneses” lifestyles? Since when is this worth it? How has it gotten to this point?

What has happened is we have sold our souls and bought a philosophy; that moms should have the freedom to work and not be under the thumb of responsibilities at home, or that we can do anything a man can do, but what we have gotten instead is being under the thumb of the work responsibilities and those at home combined, it is hardwired into us that we care for our homes (even if we don’t like to, want to or know how to) and therefore we are divided. A house divided cannot stand, a woman divided cannot stand, a family divided cannot stand, a marriage divided cannot stand. This promotion of women (or should I say demotion), has created a culture of willing enslavement because we have bought into the propaganda of the system. This system has taken from us our roots and traditions and home skills; it is still taking from us, it is attempting to steal our farming heritage, our entrepreneurial spirit, our ability to remain independent.  You see when they take our animals and our ability to grow our own food and disallow us to keep a small businesses (read this). They aren’t and haven’t literally taken them Per Se on a large scale. What they are trying to do is over-regulate these things, using fear tactics in the media by hyping big stories with just the info they want you to believe, then if that doesn’t work and a few get away from them they use the law to make an example of them like they are criminals by using obscure regulations, lies, and laws  to come and shut down community based operations that don’t line up with their drone mentality of the American people.  There is also the money factor to consider, they tax us, and insist we be licensed which again costs money, they fine those who are out of line and terrorize those not in cahoots with them or their lobbyist cronies.

Why do we want a job? to have good benefits. Why have good benefits? So when we are sick and broken down at retirement we will be taken care of? Even though our quality of life is nearly non-existent due to our multitude of health issues. To have good pay? To pay for our kids to go to college and get caught up in the same vicious cycle? Or to fund our retirement that we may be too sick to enjoy? It is bad enough that our men have to go out and put these stresses upon themselves (which they are hardwired to do with much less of a detriment to their health). But when you take the wives out of the home, and take the nourishment and nurturing those wives can provide for those men, to keep them healthy for the stresses of working, you end up with men who are broken down too!

But being a stay at home mom is not easy; do you know why? Because all or most of the skills that mothers pass down have been lost to a huge majority of women; thanks to the feminist movement. It is boring to stay home; we don’t know how to fill our time, or how to care for the home. Our work schedules and mentality have taken from us the ability to set routines in place to efficiently accomplish what we want for our homes and families. The skills of meal planning and nourishing our family have been lost to a convenience lifestyle of prepackaged chemicals. The skills of sewing and yarn works have been lost to store bought, inferior quality clothing. The skills of raising up strong, driven children of character and purpose have been lost to inferior education, schools of propaganda and peer pressure. The skills of hospitality, communication and community have been lost to a social media, texting,  gaming and amusement driven populace. The skills of healing our families with God given herbs and remedies have been lost to the greed driven big pharma corporations with there lobbyists that feed the greed in the media to lie to us and in the universities to propagandize our nation’s youth.

I am not talking about politics here, I am talking about the thought processes of individuals that have driven the American culture collectively en mass to sell there birthright and dignity because of the deception in a worldview that is not grounded foundation-ally in Truth or even in logic, reason and common sense. This is about thinking; thinking about the things that we hear and see passively throughout the day whether others say it or the media says it or a concept on a mindless television program says it; it is about discernment and telling apart the truth from the lies. The things I am writing are not about proving anything they are about piquing the curiosity of those who are willing to think outside their comfort zone and grasp the truth behind it. I am not an exhaustive researcher of specifics, I am attempting to portray tidbits of truth in my own journey for Truth. I know very little and in fact what I do know is minute in comparison to what I should know.  Does anyone else ever wonder why things just don’t make sense? Am I the only one wondering why common belief systems are so backward? Don’t you wonder about these types of things, too? Leave me a comment telling me what kinds of things just don’t make sense to you in the culture, let me know what has you mystified and why.

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Randomness …of perfection, writing, inadequacies, faith and trust

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.

Small people always do that…”

Mark Twain

am i a small person?

small and unforgiving?

sometimes my confidence makes a fool of me.

i am so sure of myself

and then i do something

and it fails…

my mind attacks

me telling me

why.

i.

failed.

telling me

i am stupid and ignorant

laughing at my confidence

dispelling my joy

mocking me for being.

so.

sure.

i fold into myself introspecting every little thing

i think i know and believe

i feel silly and selfish

shy and ashamed

that I put myself out there

so vulnerable

standing so tall on my soap box

of opinions

choices

words i say

and the me i reveal so openly to all.

i despise hypocrisy

so i reveal so much of myself

my mind calls me a fool

it asks “where is the mystery?”

maybe there is none when it comes to me

i rebel and flap about

like i know everything

and can do anything…

i get disconnected from so many

not on purpose

just my mind (that smallish part of me)

tells me not to bother because

they don’t care

they are too busy

so i forget to call

because i don’t know what to say

i like to write

i express my thoughts well

but i never bothered with

punctuation

too many or not enough and in the wrong spots

so i write and am humiliated

writers block is fear

that my dots and dashes don’t add up

my mind tells me i am dumb

elementary grammar

forgotten

in the need to put pen to page

and then confused

expression is a joy to me

yet i am failed for words to put all of it down

disjointed

thoughts

flying about my head

ricocheting from B cell to T cell

synapses firing away

and i try to catch them

these dragonfly thoughts

flitting one way

invisible then standing in midair…

sparkling

iridescent

thought

and I reach out with my jar of letters

to encapsulate the phantom phrase

on paper

or screen

but then its gone again

i am off on these

paper airplanes

and glitter screens

to lands of expression, of words, of poems

of classy fairy friends

of opinions to fuel my passions

of art to wonder at

and of my clumsy attempt

to join in the cacophony

that i travel

in the corner of my room

on the shiny little screen

and sometimes

maybe more so than not

my dishes are ignored

my bed unmade

or the laundry is left waiting on its mountain

or words tumble from my mouth too fast

and they’re sharp

and i regret

that they hurt

those i care for the most

and i wake

another morning

and i crawl out of bed

and i fly by my life as it comes

and i trust

the work in me will be completed

grace will be given each day anew

i will write and not be fearful

and i will hope myself breathless

and i will be silly and embarrassed

holding my chin up high

as i learn to forgive and be forgiven

and look up for my help

…..

;;;;

,,,

?

!

:

and i will TRUST.

Linked up with Life: unmasked

Simplicity- Intro

The lifestyle of simplicity is becoming a lost art, a refinement forgotten. There is an appeal to that life of slow days and basics, where the things you have don’t own you and you aren’t a slave to the clock and at the mercy of schedules. There is an appeal to having the freedom to marvel at the simple things, like the wonder in a child’s eyes, or the sunsets, or the pictures in the clouds. Yet in this culture of busyness around us, a little child’s curiosity becomes bratty, and any inconvenience becomes a crisis. The car-seat trapped child’s eyes become dull and listless as they are carted about too and fro, forgotten in the bustle and hustle of play dates and dance lessons and after school programs and sports and church programs and the list goes on. There is nothing wrong with any of these things to do, there is something wrong though, when these things start owning you, when the commitment becomes too much and the necessities of life fall to the wayside for these activities.

Stress rears it’s ugly head against us, we feel guilt because somehow we have come to believe that we have to do and do and do. We have to give our kids the opportunities and we have to be at the party and we have to go and hang out with so and so, our homes have to be perfect, we have to meet the deadline… and yes we do sometime. However there comes a time to just stop; a season to rest, and maybe, a call to pull away and be left out of it all or at least most of it, to refocus and re-purpose ourselves, our families, our homes and our lives so that we can just be and not just do. There is a saying “You are a human being not a human doing”. The easy life is the life of being busy, because we no longer have to think about what matters- we just find more to do, to fill in the dead spaces, while at night we are haunted by those things that should be addressed in our lives, our character, our children’s discipline, our marriages. We fear the stillness of just being, in which our inadequacies shout at us through the bullhorn of guilt.

In the search for simplicity we need to first recognize the onslaught of expectations we face, and the origin of them. We need to evaluate if those expectations have come to us through sources we can trust or through the subtle influences of media and culture or even through the well meaning influence of slightly misguided friends and family. Each of us has the ability to divide the truth from the lies. If something has you stressed out and feeling overwhelmed and out of control or attacked, degraded and worthless it is not of value* to you. Usually the progression seems to follow a pattern of what we want, typically, we want to be liked**, thus we feel we must measure ourselves according to the expectations people around us have projected upon us, either verbally or inadvertently by their attitudes towards us or others. Then we can have perceived ideas of expectations that we feel we must live up to based on how the media portrays to us an unrealistic lifestyle of wealth and good times. Finally, we have to sort out our own expectations we have of ourselves; while filtering the importance of them through whether we want to be liked, if it is a source of pride, or if it is a lie propagated upon us by the media.

James 1:17
*Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

1 John 2:16
**For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

What can we do? How do we swing the pendulum back to center and re-engage with life? What are some ways you balance your life? Do you feel overwhelmed? I. do. a. lot. This post is the first of my series on digging myself out of the clutter of stuff and life owning me into an existence that is filled with me owning my life and my stuff being tools and not taskmasters. Do you have any tips for me? Or are you in the same boat as I am? Join me in this journey so we can discover the joys of simplicity together.

Masquerade of a Dead Life.

Sorting out some recent thoughts…

It is amazing the way a person can become so sure to you, how they can seem like they can be relied on for one small thing and still let you  down so harshly. I learned a long time ago how crushing it can be when someone you admire falls so hard and far from the pedestal you have put them on, but what I didn’t count on was the complete coldness and disregard a person can have for the values that keep family strong. It is one thing to disappoint another person it is another thing to aid in the destruction of family.

What an experience it is to see such a desperate attempt to keep certain “skeletons” from escaping the closet of a masquerade of a life. The broken attempts of hiding behind false pretense while in reality being the horrible victim of senseless acts of sins against you is just a pitiful and frightening reality for so many people. Unfortunately it can become a reality so big that in the end it affects not only you, but can affect generations to follow in ways that are devastating. All because you don’t want or can’t face what people might say or think of you even though what happened was not your fault. Sin when hidden becomes an insidious guest even when that sin has been done against you and you are not the one who has committed it. Typically when sinned against anger then unforgiveness then bitterness takes root in the hurt. The hard thing is that we have every right to be hurt and angry, but the key after that is to not sin in our hurt and anger. I know how hard it is to be hurt and angry and then have to deal with a child while wrestling with those feelings towards someone else, I have on numerous occasions snapped at them or yelled at them when they had nothing to do with my pain at all, but being so consumed by my pain, I overlooked what it might do to them to react in a way that will confuse and hurt them. Thus the cycle can continue and inevitably does in this fallen world. I have personally tried to make it a point to apologize to my children when I have done this and have when necessary attempted to explain to them some lesson of human nature and the mercy of God and His love.

What is remarkable to me in this is how the extent of someone else’s sin can cause us to sin against the innocent or those who are not the cause of the pain. Either way we are not to sin, in reaction to the person sinning against us or in reaction to those not involved. I can say that this is a very difficult ideal to grasp, I believe and know it, and I fail in it so many times. How I was shown this by God’s mercy, was in wondering about the resurrection and it’s importance in the life of one who believes. The refrain of the gospel is that we can be saved from our sin, it is beautiful to know this, however it is incomplete, because so many do not understand their own sin, and stand in judgement of others sins and the sins that they have been the victims of. Sometimes a person does not see the depravity of there own sin and only looks at the sin and suffering around them and wonders about how so much bad can happen. Christ died for my sin, your sin, and every individual’s sin. It becomes our responsibility to accept that gift of salvation from our sin. What happened after His death is three days later he arose from the dead, we all know that right? But see he didn’t go in the ground for three days, in those three days he conquered death forever and rose victorious over sin and death so that we may experience the same freedom and victory over sin and death because of our salvation through him. And that means sin. Period. Any sin that has been committed against us. Period. Any experience of death. Period.

In the light of His great salvation all of this has no hold on any believer, ever, unless the believer chooses to hold on to it, either in their ignorance to this or in their inability to fully grasp this victory. I have a hard time fully grasping the truth of this especially in moments of pain, and unfortunately pain doesn’t just go away in knowing this. What it does do though is it gives me hope in pain and joy in the hurt, that I do not have to remain imprisoned to someone else’s sins against me or others. It helps me to know that God has conquered it all and he is the only conqueror, and only through his salvation can I be more than a conqueror even though I have experienced the pain and hurt and horror of being sinned against.

Realize that sin is a work of Satan himself and that every person has the choice to sin or not. Do not deceive yourself about sin there is no small sin that we can commit as in letting our words hurt people or laziness or being false, and do not allow yourself to be deceived into the belief that there are sins that are too great for God’s power as in rape or murder or molestation. God’s power abolishes sin, God’s power heals our souls from sins, God’s power gives us peace in this sin stricken world. In pressing on towards wholeness in body, spirit and mind; this truth has been a balm for me, it has put my mind at ease even though the feelings of hurt and anger remain, it has helped me to sort through the mess that is life on this planet and it has helped me understand the pain that others face in there own lives. I hope it allows me to see healing in the lives of those I love and I hope that maybe it causes others curiosity to seek out this truth for them self.

Going Forward with Obstacles

“God has nothing worth having that is easily gained”-  Streams in the Desert Devotional– June 29

 

It is easy in the face of obstacles to give up and take the easy path, whether that is convenience food or procrastination or snapping back at someone in anger or abandoning a difficult relationship. The hard way is painful and misunderstood, even if it appears that the easy way is being taken. I am happy to be standing in the Hope of God and that he is my everything, literally. He took my earthly security away, and gave me an invisible future that I cannot see but for his promises to me. I think I am misunderstood for the fact that I had to do something very drastic in my life to secure the health and well being of those closest to me, it had to be done, to save a soul, to save minds from more damage, and to save the completeness of something God has ordained. Nothing good has ever come from hiding behind false pretenses, especially when multiple opportunities have been given for private resolution of the issues faced. God put these words before me as I was facing the blackest moments in this recent dilemma:

 

Psalm 27:13-14 (amp) [What, what would have become of me] had I not believed that I would see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living! Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord.

 

Psalm 138:3,7-8 (KJV) In the day when I cried thou answeredst me, and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul. Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me. The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands.

 

Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

 

It was like a cool fresh breeze, filling my suffocating lungs, a piercing light through the darkness, though still blind to the future it is the brightness of his promises that are blinding me now to what my future holds. I am so happy to know that I have no need to defend my position but that God is my defense. No person can stand against me in thought, action, or words. The greatest of all is he told me he would perfect what concerns me, PERFECT, can you beat that? I have made more mistakes in my journey than I can count, but, I know I make them and will likely make more; But I have claimed Christ and his righteousness for myself because without it I am destitute in the horrors of my sin. I can stand in Him knowing that my mistakes and failures will only prove to glorify Him much more in the end, so I can have no claims to having done anything in my own strength. This is the beautiful way of openness and transparency, it proves God’s greatness in the end, it proves that he uses weak, broken vessels to carry his glory so he can shine through the shattered shards of brokenness. A crushed flower, pours out more fragrance. Coal under pressure produces a diamond.

A Journey of a Thousand Miles, Begins with One Step

I am so sick of food, the food that has been the staple of my diet for years. I have been sick of it for years, too, it never seems to appeal to me. I have recently found out why. The food I have been eating is useless, devitalized, processed chemicals, and refined sugar laden cardboard. I have always tried to eat healthy, but mostly it never satisfied me. I have been on diets and basically felt starved and never able to keep them up. So, when I read Nourishing Traditions By: Sally Fallon, I was SO excited to find out that not only could you eat good, real food, but that in doing so it would make you healthy, not just physically but mentally, too!!!

The setback for me however was the radically different preparation techniques and difficult(more so than stopping at the grocery) to obtain ingredients. However, I am determined that I am no longer going to be enslaved to the junk that they call food anymore. I have been overwhelmed trying to figure out how to begin, and I finally just decided it can’t be done all at once, but then when I looked I couldn’t find any resources on where to start step by step so I am going to record it here for others like me who want to do something about it but don’t know where to begin or are too overwhelmed, as step by step and simplified as possible. This is where I am at right now:

I have been reading a lot

  • Have an open mind and be informed, buy the book- Nourishing Traditions: The Cookbook that Challenges Politically Correct Nutrition and the Diet Dictocrats. By: Sally Fallon. I bought mine off Amazon.com for around $18 in April and finished reading the whole thing about two weeks ago. It blew me away.

I found a local support group

  • Check out the Weston A. Price Foundation website. On this site you will be able to find a foundation chapter in your area, these chapters are a wealth of information for finding real food locally. This site also has numerous articles of information about food and health, siting hundreds of scientific studies. I found my local chapter was around the corner from my house. It got me so motivated to have a resource so close by!!!

I am starting to weed out the junk food and replace it with real food

  • Buy Organic fruits and vegetables, I just started doing this. We have a huge garden that we will be getting a lot of our produce from, too.
  • The fastest way to provide nutrient rich food for your family: Find farm fresh, raw milk and eggs from a local farmer in your area who can provide it for you if at all possible. I found a place near me that I can get some and am just waiting until the budget allows me to go ahead and make it happen. The way it works here is you usually will purchase either a cow share or herd share, I am getting mine as a herd share for $50 dollars (lifetime, some places may do yearly) then after that I pay $22 per month for a gallon per week. If I need more milk per week it [the prices] are double or tripled for subsequent gallons. So the cost for 3 gallons per week would turn out to be $150 one time fee and then $66 per month. Expensive yes but worth it in the end, when you don’t have to pay the cost of medical bills for umpteen illnesses down the road.

I am and have (for the sake of necessity a lot of times) been working on decreasing my dependence on and trust in the institutionalized establishments of the systems of this world, as in:  industrialized food, the medical monopoly, the propaganda media machine, education, government, the green myth, and misled/ misfed church flocks.

  • I have for a long time had an interest in Herbal remedies, and have found many things that have worked for me and others I know, (for various ailments over and above what the medical community had done for them and myself). I being among the uninsured have found it necessary to rely on this more so than on medicine, not just due to financial constraints but also due to the fact that I had an ER visit for an urinary tract infection a few years ago that ended up costing me $1300, which reoccurred a month later and I ended up clearing it by taking probiotics and drinking profuse amounts of water, cranberry juice, cranberry tea and nettle tea, among other situations similar to this, I have chosen personally to avoid being treated for minor ailments, and may even go as far as to say that if a major ailment afflicted me I would rather fall upon the mercy of God than trust the medical community with my treatment. Some great sources for Herbal information can be found at the Bulk Herb Store they also sell very informative books including Nourishing Traditions.
  • Test the cultural, societal, and world climate- have a plan in mind for your future, where you will go, what you will need, how you will handle it. Being prepared is wise whether due to natural disaster, or terrorist attack. In the past ten years there have been huge and horrible disasters in a very short period of time, just this year in the U.S. there were 600 tornadoes in the month of April when typically there are only 150, there is a horrible drought in many states and record forest fires are ravaging Arizona. Check out this site here for other interesting information on disasters.
  • Buy local, and when I say local, I mean local- meaning if you have a neighbor three houses down that makes rugs and you need a rug, well put 2 and 2 together. Not only are you supporting your local economy, you are taking money away from the big whigs who are lining there pockets on the backs of children in foreign countries, you may be helping a family make ends meet, what is in the rug is probably better for you than what is in the rugs at the store, you will likely appreciate it more because it will cost more, and being handmade the quality is likely going to be better and therefore it will last longer.

I have a 15 minute philosophy, and though I don’t live up to it the way I want sometime it is a life saver for me

  • In housekeeping it can keep you so on top of things, check out the Flylady website and set you timer.
  • If you are anxious or worried about something take 15 minutes and pray about it and then set it aside and let God handle it. If you cannot handle it in 15 minutes then do the next thing.
  • Time-wasters like that book that you cannot put down or the TV, or internet, or whatever. Set you timer and do what you have been putting off.
  • When you start something on the timer, you will be surprised when it goes off by how much you have gotten done and how much more you WANT to keep doing, it is an awesome motivator.

I am trying to stay centered

  • Read God’s Word
  • Pray
  • Memorize and/ or meditate on something God has shown you from His Word.

This is something I have been meditating on:

“Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.” – 1 Thessalonians 4:12

 

I am planning to post once or twice a week (as time allows) specifically on these subjects and to take the next steps on this journey, I am hoping you will join me as I do so, I hope that it helps you and me to take the steps needed for a more fulfilling, productive, and peaceful life. And if you are already there, I am hoping you will join me and encourage and pray for those of us who aren’t, as we undertake this journey together.