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Simplicity- Nuclear Reactor or Wise Response

Speaking to my Mom the other day we got onto the subject of reacting to children’s behavior or stressful situations in negative or angry ways. I confess that I have a very hard time keeping my cool in certain situations in regards to my children and their childish ways or my dog or stupid commercials or the news and its inevitable skewing of truth. I even find myself saying absolute statements about what is in our food or sinful behaviors in others or whatnot that I come across in life that are contrary to the Truth. I am opinionated, I know this. And I can be very caustic when it comes to the things I disagree with. I find that in my heart when it comes to people, I am absolutely on their side and would never want to come across as judging them… in my heart. On the outside in my attempt to show my children what is right and wrong, I find that maybe I am just coming across as judgmental and legalistic.

I, out eleven children was (likely) my moms most difficult child, being third in line and the eldest daughter. When I was born my mom has described me as “angry to be alive” and she even sought counseling from a pastor due to my constant crying in the first six weeks of my life, not just any kind of crying but angry, screeching wails of frustration. I find that this is very much my personality even now, and I find myself to be difficult for my own self to live with. I have a hard time accepting and forgiving my unlovable tendencies and struggle to forgive my own lack of perfection and self-control.

One of the statements my mom made that resonated with me was that every person on this planet deep down cannot find a reason to say that they are okay and I contend that if they can say that they are, then they are likely not being honest with themselves or they are not looking deep enough. This was when we were discussing the beautiful message from God in Tim Tebow’s amazing performance the other day playing football. She says that God wants us to know how loved we are and I completely agree. This brings me back to reacting to difficulty and crisis situations in a way that may not portray this beautiful truth to my children. If there is anything a loving parent wants for their children it is that they would know undoubtedly how much they are loved, because we all know that in this world there tends to be so little to reinforce that for them. So when portraying a spirit of judgement upon those things that are inevitably wrong with the world and life and people it fundamentally sets up a spirit of failure and never being good or lovable enough to be of any value, even when this attitude is projected elsewhere and not upon the child, they will still see your judgement upon that behavior and if they choose to act in that behavior not only does it set them up to feel judgment from you their parent but also sets them up to know how to attempt to gain power over you in an act of defiance.

I think ultimately as a parent though we want the best for our children and to help them avoid painful consequences and to be “okay”, then helping them out of difficult situations when those situations are ones they had gotten themselves into on their own, however many have a tendency to attempt to beat the bad out either verbally, physically, or manipulatively while missing the point of the fact that human nature is flawed by sin and no amount of rules and punishment can ever produce a perfect human. Human choice, the nature of sin and the law lead to us to the knowledge that there is no reaching perfection. Christ was the perfect human and it is by his sacrifice that we find our painful mistakes can be washed away, and that our children when they come up against the pain of  the consequences of their sin can look to him to wash the guilt away.

I would like to strive for a parenting technique that involves less reaction and more reasonable responses. The book “Parenting with Love and Logic” is a good example and advocate of this kind of parenting, using children’s own choices as their punishment when the choice they end up making has a painful consequence. It allows for children to learn independence and wisdom from their own experiences rather than the drumming of sets of rules into their minds while ignoring their heart attitudes and beliefs.

Growing up I see how this affected me in various ways in conflicts I have had with my mother as she admitted that she was at times a reactionary parent for us older children. I could see as a child I could use my mothers reaction to various situations to attempt to manipulate her to get control over what I wanted to gain for myself. Being a parent now I see this more clearly as I see myself reacting with nuclear strength over minor, major and childish behaviors that may have been handled differently or even modeling for my children an angry attitude over uncontrollable circumstances, such as, a flat tire or financial issue or something that happens to pop up on television. Ultimately when a child receives no reaction for their negative behavior they find it to be, logically ineffective all on there own. As a child grows up and meets the unbending demands of life in a job or in a relationship or in class, they will find that responding with yelling, violent temper tantrums, and negative behavior usually will meet with more severity in adulthood when they come up against the consequences of painfully broken relationships, a lost job or inability to hold a job, and jail-time for violent outbursts when they have not gained what they wanted. I have seen this in so many I have grown up with in conservative and secular circles and I see it now in the consequences of my own sinful choices, it is a universal principal that everyone has to face in themselves and humanity in general.

Ultimately I am glad I can learn from the wisdom of  my mother and others who have been there in the trenches raising many different personalities imperfectly but for the grace of God and constant prayer. I want to learn from my own mistakes as I see my children reacting in ways that I see they have learned from explosive reactions I have modeled for them at times in the past. I find it daunting to undo habits in myself, but find that I can see a little more clearly how I can model a better example to them by my own behavior in responding to crisis even when it involves outside stresses unrelated to their behavior. I am glad too for a Gracious Heavenly Father that guides my life and mercifully covers a multitude of my sins in parenting as he did for my parents and for so many, and while we all know the faults of our parents I am so glad that I can learn from the mistakes made.

Randomness …of perfection, writing, inadequacies, faith and trust

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.

Small people always do that…”

Mark Twain

am i a small person?

small and unforgiving?

sometimes my confidence makes a fool of me.

i am so sure of myself

and then i do something

and it fails…

my mind attacks

me telling me

why.

i.

failed.

telling me

i am stupid and ignorant

laughing at my confidence

dispelling my joy

mocking me for being.

so.

sure.

i fold into myself introspecting every little thing

i think i know and believe

i feel silly and selfish

shy and ashamed

that I put myself out there

so vulnerable

standing so tall on my soap box

of opinions

choices

words i say

and the me i reveal so openly to all.

i despise hypocrisy

so i reveal so much of myself

my mind calls me a fool

it asks “where is the mystery?”

maybe there is none when it comes to me

i rebel and flap about

like i know everything

and can do anything…

i get disconnected from so many

not on purpose

just my mind (that smallish part of me)

tells me not to bother because

they don’t care

they are too busy

so i forget to call

because i don’t know what to say

i like to write

i express my thoughts well

but i never bothered with

punctuation

too many or not enough and in the wrong spots

so i write and am humiliated

writers block is fear

that my dots and dashes don’t add up

my mind tells me i am dumb

elementary grammar

forgotten

in the need to put pen to page

and then confused

expression is a joy to me

yet i am failed for words to put all of it down

disjointed

thoughts

flying about my head

ricocheting from B cell to T cell

synapses firing away

and i try to catch them

these dragonfly thoughts

flitting one way

invisible then standing in midair…

sparkling

iridescent

thought

and I reach out with my jar of letters

to encapsulate the phantom phrase

on paper

or screen

but then its gone again

i am off on these

paper airplanes

and glitter screens

to lands of expression, of words, of poems

of classy fairy friends

of opinions to fuel my passions

of art to wonder at

and of my clumsy attempt

to join in the cacophony

that i travel

in the corner of my room

on the shiny little screen

and sometimes

maybe more so than not

my dishes are ignored

my bed unmade

or the laundry is left waiting on its mountain

or words tumble from my mouth too fast

and they’re sharp

and i regret

that they hurt

those i care for the most

and i wake

another morning

and i crawl out of bed

and i fly by my life as it comes

and i trust

the work in me will be completed

grace will be given each day anew

i will write and not be fearful

and i will hope myself breathless

and i will be silly and embarrassed

holding my chin up high

as i learn to forgive and be forgiven

and look up for my help

…..

;;;;

,,,

?

!

:

and i will TRUST.

Linked up with Life: unmasked

Simplicity- Intro

The lifestyle of simplicity is becoming a lost art, a refinement forgotten. There is an appeal to that life of slow days and basics, where the things you have don’t own you and you aren’t a slave to the clock and at the mercy of schedules. There is an appeal to having the freedom to marvel at the simple things, like the wonder in a child’s eyes, or the sunsets, or the pictures in the clouds. Yet in this culture of busyness around us, a little child’s curiosity becomes bratty, and any inconvenience becomes a crisis. The car-seat trapped child’s eyes become dull and listless as they are carted about too and fro, forgotten in the bustle and hustle of play dates and dance lessons and after school programs and sports and church programs and the list goes on. There is nothing wrong with any of these things to do, there is something wrong though, when these things start owning you, when the commitment becomes too much and the necessities of life fall to the wayside for these activities.

Stress rears it’s ugly head against us, we feel guilt because somehow we have come to believe that we have to do and do and do. We have to give our kids the opportunities and we have to be at the party and we have to go and hang out with so and so, our homes have to be perfect, we have to meet the deadline… and yes we do sometime. However there comes a time to just stop; a season to rest, and maybe, a call to pull away and be left out of it all or at least most of it, to refocus and re-purpose ourselves, our families, our homes and our lives so that we can just be and not just do. There is a saying “You are a human being not a human doing”. The easy life is the life of being busy, because we no longer have to think about what matters- we just find more to do, to fill in the dead spaces, while at night we are haunted by those things that should be addressed in our lives, our character, our children’s discipline, our marriages. We fear the stillness of just being, in which our inadequacies shout at us through the bullhorn of guilt.

In the search for simplicity we need to first recognize the onslaught of expectations we face, and the origin of them. We need to evaluate if those expectations have come to us through sources we can trust or through the subtle influences of media and culture or even through the well meaning influence of slightly misguided friends and family. Each of us has the ability to divide the truth from the lies. If something has you stressed out and feeling overwhelmed and out of control or attacked, degraded and worthless it is not of value* to you. Usually the progression seems to follow a pattern of what we want, typically, we want to be liked**, thus we feel we must measure ourselves according to the expectations people around us have projected upon us, either verbally or inadvertently by their attitudes towards us or others. Then we can have perceived ideas of expectations that we feel we must live up to based on how the media portrays to us an unrealistic lifestyle of wealth and good times. Finally, we have to sort out our own expectations we have of ourselves; while filtering the importance of them through whether we want to be liked, if it is a source of pride, or if it is a lie propagated upon us by the media.

James 1:17
*Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

1 John 2:16
**For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

What can we do? How do we swing the pendulum back to center and re-engage with life? What are some ways you balance your life? Do you feel overwhelmed? I. do. a. lot. This post is the first of my series on digging myself out of the clutter of stuff and life owning me into an existence that is filled with me owning my life and my stuff being tools and not taskmasters. Do you have any tips for me? Or are you in the same boat as I am? Join me in this journey so we can discover the joys of simplicity together.

World View Revolution- Part 3 or Seeing Red Over Being “Green”

Go green… Right? Yeah, I am all for being green (the right way)… but it is annoying, because it has become a fad and a new money maker for the industry giants to peddle their wares and in my not so humble opinion dupe us even more, probably by sneaking in the “junk” in the pretty repackaged bottles or by hiding what is really going on. But I think that the “green” movement (at least the faddish media hyped part) hides an even greater deception. Watching PBS nature programs especially infuriates me, when they talk of the horror of the human encroachment upon animal’s natural habitats, as if humanity is an infestation of parasites upon the planet and the bleeding hearts who decide the wording for the narrator, thinking that they (and their own “elite” groups) are the only redeeming chance our planet has for survival. It is ridiculous to the point of rage for me, these bleeding heart elitest few (or not so few?) are likely the same as those in our government who decide how much poison is ok in our food and medicine and how much poison is too much… I mean why be so gruesome as to dig a ditch and shoot people into it when they can slowly torture and kill us by brainwashing us into believing that they can tell us what to eat and how to treat the diseases(their processed foods cause) that plague us. Oh and these are probably the same “few” who are all for the funding of the murders of millions of tiny babies, horror of horrors we wouldn’t want to over populate this poor burdened planet would we? The deception lies in the attitude and belief system that devalues humanity by promoting the “planet” and the “environment”. Look at the world around you, watch a commercial, they degrade humanity in one way or another constantly- as though we are mindless and incapable of taking care of ourselves anymore… have a conversation and listen to the pervading worldview of those speaking. It can be minor but it is still there… as in “…wow, you have your hands full…” in regards to children or “…men. can’t live with ’em, can’t live without em…” or “…your not going to college?” to a young lady who wants to nurture her family or “…you have to work; don’t you want to support your family?” to the mother who stays at home to bring up the next generation. The pervading attitude of our culture is that of what we have been fed by a media and a system that works against the people and for the growth of a larger and more controlling gov’t. Take mothers out of their homes, promote rampant immorality, create poor single mother led homes, day-cares and schools to effectively brainwash our children into more mindless drones, denigrate men by a continual onslaught of disrespect and dishonor in society causing a huge number of men to need “mommy’s” to take care of them, or become criminals, or deadbeats. While I am all for being a good steward of the things that God has created for our use, I would like us to never consider for a single second that the media, the system, or the gov’t has any desire to protect this earth or the people on it for them it is all about power and money, they are destroying the eco-system out the back door (as in GMO crops, pesticides) while putting on a good face by fighting global warming. GMO’s are messing us up I can almost bet money that new super illnesses that mystify the medical community are a direct result of GMO’s!!! And pesticides are killing our pollinators and are likely the cause behind a lot of our many current disease epidemics, read up on it!!! These industry giants are in the back pocket of our gov’t who allow this massive poisoning to create a nation too sick, mindless, ignorant and messed up to defend itself, the food supply or the environment. To them our ignorance is their power.

Revelation 18:4

And I heard another voice from heaven, saying, Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues(heart disease, cancer, diabetes, AIDS, mental illness, infertility, autism, etc.) .

Revelation 18:23

And the light of a candle shall shine no more at all in thee; and the voice of the bridegroom and of the bride shall be heard no more at all in thee: for thy merchants(big business and gov’t, industrialized food, pharmaceuticals, educators) were the great men of the earth; for by thy sorceries were all nations deceived.

Revelation 9:21

Neither repented they of their murders(abortion), nor of their sorceries(pharmaceuticals, see below), nor of their fornication(culture of immorality), nor of their thefts(the national debt, our freedom).

Greek- Pharmakeia

Strong’s Number:   5331

Definition

  1. the use or the administering of drugs
  2. poisoning
  3. sorcery, magical arts, often found in connection with idolatry and fostered by it
  4. metaph. the deceptions and seductions of idolatry

I know sometime when I put this stuff out there it doesn’t seem to be related, but it is… It is a systematic dehumanization of this planet, it is a culture of death, a death of humanity by the belief systems that pervade out minds.

Back to being green the right way. Support green efforts first by being local, that will cut back on the costs of importing and shipping of products over great distances, eat local and seasonally, and if possible preserve your own food by canning and freezing and lacto-fermentation (refer to the Nourishing Traditions cookbook for more on this). When it comes to local products obviously you want a product that has quality and if you find it locally then go for it but if not look online for resources of cleaning products, home keeping products and childcare products and so on. Next be green in your food choices, Organic may be more expensive but the more is bought the less expensive it will become and if you want to get technical just because the cost is low now doesn’t mean it will be low later when you are paying for medical bills for multitudes of problems brought on by the cheap, easy foods. Growing a garden is a relatively easy way around this as the cost outset is minimal and the rewards huge, as long as you have a small idea of how its done and understand that it is a learning process. Realize that pollution is in our food supply as well as  the environment, the global warming, sustainable energy and landfill debates in the media are masking the real truth of what is  happening to the world around us. Supporting local sustainable farming practices is one of the best ways to be green, in supporting an organic farmer you are telling the “industry” that you no longer want poisons in our livestock or plants or wildlife or pollinators or our soil and water supplies from their chemical pesticides use. We all have a choice to make; we can choose to not think and do nothing and buy the garbage they are selling us literally and figuratively or we can stand up and vote with our pocketbooks, we can slowly make one decision in the right direction every time we do it; it is another nail in the coffin of these tyrants trying to steal all that we have… our freedoms. Without the freedom to eat true nourishing food, all of our other freedoms may as well be handed over to them on a silver platter. True food gives us the ability to have discernment and to choose right because true food nourishes our minds and bodies to give us the strength and ability to retain the knowledge of these truths.

“Butter and honey shall he eat, that he may know to refuse the evil, and choose the good” (Isaiah 7:15).

Grain Mill Giveaway L’Equip Nutrimill @ Hallee the Homemaker

Checkout this awesome give away here it is for a L’Equip Nutrimill grain mill, but in addition to the mill the giveaway includes all of the ingredients and pans to make Hallee’s Whole Wheat Honey Oatmeal Bread except the butter of course… But this is an awesome giveaway, I can just smell the fresh baked bread now. Check it out and enter to win, of course I am hoping to win, too! Good luck!

A Journey of a Thousand Miles, Begins with One Step

I am so sick of food, the food that has been the staple of my diet for years. I have been sick of it for years, too, it never seems to appeal to me. I have recently found out why. The food I have been eating is useless, devitalized, processed chemicals, and refined sugar laden cardboard. I have always tried to eat healthy, but mostly it never satisfied me. I have been on diets and basically felt starved and never able to keep them up. So, when I read Nourishing Traditions By: Sally Fallon, I was SO excited to find out that not only could you eat good, real food, but that in doing so it would make you healthy, not just physically but mentally, too!!!

The setback for me however was the radically different preparation techniques and difficult(more so than stopping at the grocery) to obtain ingredients. However, I am determined that I am no longer going to be enslaved to the junk that they call food anymore. I have been overwhelmed trying to figure out how to begin, and I finally just decided it can’t be done all at once, but then when I looked I couldn’t find any resources on where to start step by step so I am going to record it here for others like me who want to do something about it but don’t know where to begin or are too overwhelmed, as step by step and simplified as possible. This is where I am at right now:

I have been reading a lot

  • Have an open mind and be informed, buy the book- Nourishing Traditions: The Cookbook that Challenges Politically Correct Nutrition and the Diet Dictocrats. By: Sally Fallon. I bought mine off Amazon.com for around $18 in April and finished reading the whole thing about two weeks ago. It blew me away.

I found a local support group

  • Check out the Weston A. Price Foundation website. On this site you will be able to find a foundation chapter in your area, these chapters are a wealth of information for finding real food locally. This site also has numerous articles of information about food and health, siting hundreds of scientific studies. I found my local chapter was around the corner from my house. It got me so motivated to have a resource so close by!!!

I am starting to weed out the junk food and replace it with real food

  • Buy Organic fruits and vegetables, I just started doing this. We have a huge garden that we will be getting a lot of our produce from, too.
  • The fastest way to provide nutrient rich food for your family: Find farm fresh, raw milk and eggs from a local farmer in your area who can provide it for you if at all possible. I found a place near me that I can get some and am just waiting until the budget allows me to go ahead and make it happen. The way it works here is you usually will purchase either a cow share or herd share, I am getting mine as a herd share for $50 dollars (lifetime, some places may do yearly) then after that I pay $22 per month for a gallon per week. If I need more milk per week it [the prices] are double or tripled for subsequent gallons. So the cost for 3 gallons per week would turn out to be $150 one time fee and then $66 per month. Expensive yes but worth it in the end, when you don’t have to pay the cost of medical bills for umpteen illnesses down the road.

I am and have (for the sake of necessity a lot of times) been working on decreasing my dependence on and trust in the institutionalized establishments of the systems of this world, as in:  industrialized food, the medical monopoly, the propaganda media machine, education, government, the green myth, and misled/ misfed church flocks.

  • I have for a long time had an interest in Herbal remedies, and have found many things that have worked for me and others I know, (for various ailments over and above what the medical community had done for them and myself). I being among the uninsured have found it necessary to rely on this more so than on medicine, not just due to financial constraints but also due to the fact that I had an ER visit for an urinary tract infection a few years ago that ended up costing me $1300, which reoccurred a month later and I ended up clearing it by taking probiotics and drinking profuse amounts of water, cranberry juice, cranberry tea and nettle tea, among other situations similar to this, I have chosen personally to avoid being treated for minor ailments, and may even go as far as to say that if a major ailment afflicted me I would rather fall upon the mercy of God than trust the medical community with my treatment. Some great sources for Herbal information can be found at the Bulk Herb Store they also sell very informative books including Nourishing Traditions.
  • Test the cultural, societal, and world climate- have a plan in mind for your future, where you will go, what you will need, how you will handle it. Being prepared is wise whether due to natural disaster, or terrorist attack. In the past ten years there have been huge and horrible disasters in a very short period of time, just this year in the U.S. there were 600 tornadoes in the month of April when typically there are only 150, there is a horrible drought in many states and record forest fires are ravaging Arizona. Check out this site here for other interesting information on disasters.
  • Buy local, and when I say local, I mean local- meaning if you have a neighbor three houses down that makes rugs and you need a rug, well put 2 and 2 together. Not only are you supporting your local economy, you are taking money away from the big whigs who are lining there pockets on the backs of children in foreign countries, you may be helping a family make ends meet, what is in the rug is probably better for you than what is in the rugs at the store, you will likely appreciate it more because it will cost more, and being handmade the quality is likely going to be better and therefore it will last longer.

I have a 15 minute philosophy, and though I don’t live up to it the way I want sometime it is a life saver for me

  • In housekeeping it can keep you so on top of things, check out the Flylady website and set you timer.
  • If you are anxious or worried about something take 15 minutes and pray about it and then set it aside and let God handle it. If you cannot handle it in 15 minutes then do the next thing.
  • Time-wasters like that book that you cannot put down or the TV, or internet, or whatever. Set you timer and do what you have been putting off.
  • When you start something on the timer, you will be surprised when it goes off by how much you have gotten done and how much more you WANT to keep doing, it is an awesome motivator.

I am trying to stay centered

  • Read God’s Word
  • Pray
  • Memorize and/ or meditate on something God has shown you from His Word.

This is something I have been meditating on:

“Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.” – 1 Thessalonians 4:12

 

I am planning to post once or twice a week (as time allows) specifically on these subjects and to take the next steps on this journey, I am hoping you will join me as I do so, I hope that it helps you and me to take the steps needed for a more fulfilling, productive, and peaceful life. And if you are already there, I am hoping you will join me and encourage and pray for those of us who aren’t, as we undertake this journey together.